Feelings are about how we interpret an event, how you think or react to it. The same event would be interpreted by many others in a very different manner. We're conditioned from an early age to represent certain events, like a death for example, as tragic. Yet others see this as a time to celebrate. You see, events have no meaning but what meaning you assign to it. And by assigning a meaning to the event, is what causes you to feel a certain way.
For the algebra inclined, lets use this sum I was once shown: E + R = O (Event + your Reaction to it = Outcome). Now whilst you have no control over the Event, you have complete control over the Reaction. In essence you have control over half of the formula. Far more than most people think they have.
Here's an example, someone told me once that I wasn't a very good artist. I only felt bad about it because I believed it myself. But I didn't have to think that. What he said to me was only half the formula. I only felt bad because I agreed. What I should have told myself is that I am only in the early part of a long journey as an artist, my art will only get better. My self esteem won't go down, if anything it will go up! Between stimulus and response lies opportunity for a conscious choice.
Charles Schulz was failed at art school in the subject of drawing children. Colonel Sanders was knocked back over 1200 times when trying to sell his secret recipe around America, don't know about you but I would have probably given up after the first 10 knockbacks. How many times has Donald Trump been bankrupt, yet he continues to even greater wealth. You can be dumped by your girlfriend, be suicidal, get divorced, have an alcohol problem and still bounce back. Billy Joel did. I remember slaving during my career in animation and earning $60 one week! thinking about how I'm going to survive, I've been married:getting divorced, I've had alcohol and substance abuse and feelings of suicide with constant personal doubt. Survive I did.
From these few people I mentioned, you can see how someone can turn a seemingly negative event into an empowering experience. And following the unviversal theory of balance, there is equally someone who can turn a positive experience into a soul destroyer. The truly amazing gift is that you have the power to make the change.
Producing cartoons and submitting them, I am constantly rejected. I'm not the only one. But we are of few who choose a life of rejection in the graphic industry.
Late last year, early this year I was suffering from a severe cramping pain that made my joints swell and my body temperature increase like an oven. I went to the doctors who gave no clear concept to what was happening. I was crying heavily with pain, folding over to try and ease the intencity of fire that ripped through my body. I looked for the sharpest knife in the kitchen as I was prepared to cut my left arm at the shoulder clear off. I had the towels ready. The pain was nothing I had ever experienced. No volume of pain killers taken from those at the hospital or emergency medical centre could give me relief. The pain grew worse and the diagnosis was so long in coming, it didn't help. I was terrified, I didn't want to know what was happening. I knew there was something wrong and I just wanted to die. I couldn't think of anything else but how I could end the pain myself. I was finally injected with cortersone and began to feel temporary relief. Days went by and the pain came back slowly. I looked inward to my training in tai chi for answers. It was meditation that gave me the answer I needed. My mental anguish was causing the imbalance. As fear was growing inside me, the disturbance it created had detrimental effect on my body. I had let my fears grow and overtake my skills. My ability and knowledge I had taken for granted.
It is still a journey I am taking but the role that fear plays in my life, I chose not to allow it - my fear - to stop me moving forward. No matter what happens, I can still choose to be at peace.
Learning to understand and face my fears has made me understand that life is full of fears. You just have to tame them. To many, my management and ability to tame them is what they see only as my courage. A word I've taken for granted. A word that I have given new meaning. A word many respect.
Courage
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