Recently I was on a flight to Hobart with Jetstar, they issue colour denoted boarding passes as you check in your luggage. If you check in early you receive an silver boarding pass, if you are there later you receive a blue pass. I was in line at the terminal waiting for the flight to start boarding. They make the announcement for boarding. The line is extremely long as people got up from their seats and joined the queue. It seemed strange that they'd issue this many silver passes. My eyes scan the line and I see many people in line with blue passes. Clearly they have no idea on how the system works. I giggle as one by one they hand over their boarding pass only to be given it back and informed only silver passes are being accepted on board right now. The line seems to reduce quickly as these people are quickly denied access. I'm now the second last at the front. There is a group of indonesian tourists in front of me. Turns out they have blue passes. They stand to the side and start discussing why have been knocked back. They appear to be first time travellers, totally gullible. My evil streak surfaces as I show them my cheeky side.
me: "You need a silver pass to board now."
them: "What does a silver pass mean?"
me: "The company likes you and would prefer you get priority seating."
them: "So what does a blue pass mean?"
me: "Well once the silver pass holders are seated there is no room left."
them: "What happens then?"
me: "Blue passes are for standing room only, a little strap hangs down from the ceiling like in the buses. Don't worry it's only hard to hang on as we take off and landing is a little rocky. The advantage is that blue pass holders allow silver pass holders something soft and squooshy to land on during an emergency. You seem quite cuddly, could you stand in from of me?"
them: "Are you serious, we have to stand?"
me: "Yes ma'am. Trust me, I am the Prime Minister of Tasmania and this is my royal plane."
The men she was travelling with stood behind her and were wetting themselves with laughter as this poor girl grew more and more frightened of boarding the plane after I explained interstate travel to her. Clearly they have considered what I was saying and only realised too soon that I was joking when I said I was the Prime Minister of Tasmania.
My grandfather was struck by lightning twice. I am yet to keep that tradition in the family. If I keep up telling porkies I think I'm bettering my chances. Frankly, I'm quite looney. If you see me in public, don't stand near metal objects or me.
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